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Wednesday, December 12, 2012

What did he just tell me?

"But better to be hurt by the truth than comforted with a lie." -Khaled Hosseini

Day Number 2: May 11, 2007

Seth left that afternoon to go pick up Kekoa (he was 18 months old) from his Grandma's house where he had been staying. He was going to take him back to our house for some lunch and a nap before bringing him up to the hospital.  The pediatrician, who I mentioned before, picked that lovely time to give me the news about my daughter.  He was the pediatrician on call that day.  This is pretty much how this event took place:

DOCTOR- I'm just here to take a look at your baby.

ME- Ok. I'm kind of worried about her eyes because she hasn't opened them yet.  I think they're just swollen, you know because I had been in pre term labor awhile and I'm sure that stressed her out and probably caused some swelling, but I'm sure she'll open them soon.  Maybe later today or tomorrow.  Do you think?  I'm sure there's nothing wrong.  They're just swollen. Right?

DOCTOR-  He just looks at me like he's mildly bored and somewhat irritated because I am rambling at this point.  I tend to ramble and talk really fast when I'm nervous.

ME- Are you going to look at her eyes?

He is looking everywhere else besides her eyes.  Her feet, legs, tummy, arms, nose, mouth.  Taking his sweet time at it too, I must say.  I just wanted to scream at him "TELL ME NOTHING IS WRONG WITH HER EYES YOU BIG JERK!!"
Finally he tries to open her eyes.  Oli starts screaming her head off like he is trying to rip her eyelids apart.  Which is essentially exactly what he was doing because they were literally fused together.
After trying this for a minute he puts the blanket back over her, straightens up and looks at me.

DOCTOR- Well, I think she has either really small eyes, or no eyes at all and she will be completely blind.  Microphthalmia is what it is called.  Do you have any questions?

ME- Mouth gaping open, tears in my eyes, looking back at him.  Do I have any questions?  Well let me see... I guess I have two.  Where did you get your medical license and where do you live so I can come rip your heart out while you are sleeping.  Like you just ripped out mine.

Did I have any questions?  What a dumb question.  Of course I had questions but, at that point I couldn't even remember my own name let alone think of a way to put together a question out of the millions of thoughts racing through my head.

ME- I don't know.  Have you ever seen this before?

DOCTOR- Once. 15 years ago.  A little boy that had Fraisers Syndrome.  We'll have to check her kidneys.  She might not have any kidneys.

ME- Staring at him again, mouth open.  Did he just say what I think he said? No kidneys?  That means death right?  I mean, I am a nurse and I'm pretty sure no kidneys means death.  Did he just tell me she might die?

DOCTOR- Ok then.  I'll order some tests and we'll let you know.

With that he promptly walked out of my hospital room leaving me alone with my new baby that I now thought might die.


  1. What a dick! I'm loving your candor by the way. Refreshingly honest.

  2. I love, love, love that you are doing this! Miss you!

  3. Interesting, Mother's Day 2007 is when we came parents to Acer. The 29 month old Little man was put into out arms on that day. We both became parents to B/M kids at the same time!

  4. Ginger,
    Amen sister!!! He was a dick!!

    I miss you too!!

    That is amazing that we went through this at the same time. I would love to hear more about your son!

  5. Dr. Asshole is his name, right? ;)

    1. Ha!!! Yes that is how we refer to him in my house :)